Ask a Companion: Where Dinner Actually Goes Wrong

Quick answers to the questions clients ask most, from one of our companions.

Is the restaurant usually the problem?

No. The seat is. A four-top by an open kitchen means a plate slamming down on the pass next to your elbow all night. People blame the food. It's usually the table.

What do you check first when you walk into somewhere new?

Where the till is. Staff traffic runs through that spot all evening, and none of it has anything to do with your table. I ask to move before we sit down.

Does the time of booking change what you'd recommend?

Yes. A lunch booking needs an easy exit built in, nobody stuck there past three. A nine o'clock booking needs somewhere that's still properly running at midnight, kitchen open, staff not clearing tables around you.

A client's picked somewhere that's clearly wrong. Do you say anything?

Sometimes. If he's stressed and the room's loud, I'll suggest a drink first somewhere quieter. If it's just not my taste, I keep that to myself. He booked it for a reason.

What's the single most common mistake?

Booking loud. Two hours of leaning across a table to hear each other. Most London escorts working at this level hear the same thing back from clients afterward: nobody complains about the food.

Does the season matter?

A lot. A rooftop in July does most of the work on its own. In January, a fireplace matters more than the menu does.

Somewhere you keep going back to?

The Wolseley, early, before it fills. There's a table at the back where the front-room noise doesn't reach. Ask for it by name.

Worst booking you've had?

A client once spent the first forty minutes checking his phone under the table, thinking I hadn't noticed. I hadn't said anything about it either. By the second course he put it away on his own and started actually talking. Neither of us mentioned it.

Do first-time clients and regulars need different restaurants?

Yes. A first booking usually goes somewhere with a name worth mentioning afterward. A regular tends to pick somewhere quiet, unremarkable, a place where nobody at the next table knows who either of you are.

Should the client choose the wine, or should she?

You find out in the first five minutes. Some men want to be consulted on every bottle. Some want it handled and never brought up again. It's the same instinct that separates a good match from an average one among London escorts generally.

What happens after dinner?

Depends on the night. Sometimes it doesn't. There's a separate piece on this site about exactly where those evenings tend to go.